Thursday, 31 May 2018

To Maintain


That is the task of all tasks... Maybe the only...

It is so easy to get something started to then leave not much further down the line, or much, or maybe your just standing in the thick of it keeping yourself still enough so as to not be seen by your "unfinished business".
My girlfriend possesses a quote ingrained onto her skin on her right rib-cage. 
(and by that i just mean a tattoo)
Art is never finished, only abandoned.”
How can anything truly be completed when it can always be better?
So i repeat my title and elaborate.
To maintain, that is all one can truly do, maintain an idea until you begin to physically manifest that into existence, further implementing the need for its maintenance in order for it to come to fruition.
Be careful not to misunderstand my use of fruition.
A plan can come to a point where it is realized by the individual, or individuals, but just because that is so does not mean that you can't go beyond it. 
I am not claiming that you should, i am merely pointing out the fact that there is a point where you feel that your creation has "for you" become actualized, thereby giving you the choice to abandon it, leaving it open for someone else to come pick up and fulfill there idea using your creation as a tool, thereby maintaining your creation while fulfilling there own.
Now that's a sweet ass "win win situation" 
Although this is not always the case as a large portion of us have, to say the least.. 
"Attachment issues"
Know that this is not stealing, for how can you steal something that never belonged to anyone?
I can put my name on this post, but when i die, then who does this return to?

I don't even truly posses my own name, i just imagine i do, using it as a tool to help serve.
That is all.

All is shared.. And when that is recognized, we begin to work harmoniously for the benefit of all above ourselves. 

We all have a job to do, a role to play, so play it with the upmost joy.
If what you find yourself maintaining does not bring you just that, then for heavens sake! 
What on earth are you doing?!
There is certainly someone out there who would find great jubilation in doing the work that you simply tolerate, so why are YOU the one doing it? 
If anything, your new work should be to find someone who can replace you!
Would that be better? 
Would that bring you even the most minuscule amount of joy then what your currently experiencing? If so, DO IT!
If the work you do is just a means to an end, your going to come to an abrupt chomp on the ass when you realize, if ever, that there is no end to the work your doing.
The only possibility of an end is through death, and seeing as reincarnation is a commonly accruing idea that if true, you will still have to come back and work!
What kind of cruel mother lover would make me work like this over and over and over for eternity never hitting a final conclusion?
Well actually an extremely compassionate one if the work you have chosen brings you bliss.
“Come on lets be realistic achieving something that you actually want in life, phh! Yeah right.”
If it was truly something you wanted, then the attempt of trying to get it would be way more satisfying then actually having something you don’t want!
Many may argue with me on that one, after all i do not know how you feel about things
nor what your going through, i can only grasp my own view.
What i do know is how i feel, and that is that i would rather fail at what i don’t want than deal with something i cant stand!
I'm going to quote Jim Carrey here:
You can fail at something you don’t want, so you might as well take chance on something you love!
Love this incarnation of a man! :)

"Dylan, its not as easy for everyone as it may be for you, some of us are responsible for our family's"
Your right i have not idea what it's like to have to have to provide for others in such a way,
but the way i see it, is that you are not only responsible for other physically (financially) wellbeing
you are also responsible for them, and yourself, emotionally.
Now if the work your doing is causing you emotional distress it will without question carry onto your family.
I'm just guessing here but surly, the only reason i can think of for doing anything for your family is to make them happy, so how can that be possible if you are not happy yourself?
Putting it to extremes but if you had to choose?
Nothing but happiness, or, Everything but happiness?

So what the flippidy do of a do da day are you doing with your day?

For real though?

As someone who has been infamous for being lazy in the past to now being at a point where i cannot handle going a day without creating something, i feel i can say that we've been looking at it all wrong.
I was actually corrected by a wonderful man very recently, Brett Zweiman saying:
"The work is the gift!"  
The completion of everything would surly drive us all mad, 
It's as if god made this game of "IT NEEDS WORK
in order to free himself of perfection, because honestly what fun is perfection?

I am so grateful for this realization! 
It is a shift that makes you want to contribute to humanity rather than withhold yourself from it,
for what are you without your fellow beings?

So work, i wish to place another quote here but i do not know who said it first, nor do i remember it word for word so i will ad- lib it a little.
"You can trust the work is well chosen, when it is more fun than having fun."
.... My friends,
If you were to set yourself any goal right now, that would be the superlative.

:D




Wednesday, 30 May 2018

Gratefully Unsure (surrender)

Stagnant, yet somehow propelling forward beyond my capability to keep pace with.
Yet i am trusting that i will gravitate to exactly were i need to be, exactly when needed.
After all i am here to be of service, and to do so sincerely seems to require an ability to release one-self entirely.
For one man is never enough on his own, and if one man is honest enough with himself, he comes to see that he is never just one man.
I feel as if i go through momentous change every other week while staring baffled at how others around me stay as they have always been!
Reluctant to traverse into new possibilities, like a faze they are certain will come full circle.
For me a faze fades quicker than it began, leaving me almost no time to settle.
Always in some form of discomfort, meaning always in development, always growing.
You might think that it would be quite alarming shifting so frequently, but frankly,
Id be more worried if i wasn't, if i was truly stagnant. 
Though maybe that is my faze in and of itself, creating them as swiftly as i can conjure?
The Fazer, if you will. ;)
Cool superhero name but as a lot of you know, the life of a superhero can be quite lonely.
You see it can be disturbing for others to see you as someone other than who they thought you were.
You are used to create comfort for others, like school kids labeling themselves or others as "Jocks", "Nerds" or "Goths".
"DON'T MESS WITH THE STATUS QUO!"
Some dare to label me as selfish, but how selfish is it to trap someone in a identity box just so you don't have to deal with the fact that you might just be greater than you could ever imagine.
I'm going to borrow you here Marianne Williamson.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we powerful beyond measure."
Thank you. :)
So i find myself with this incessant question.
"Who is the conjurer?"
Who is watching this personality alter to the will of something way beyond its "my" comprehension in order to serve a purpose "i" may never grasp.
What is the extent of what "i" can know?
I'm always told that "i" can never understand, i'm told by those who have tried that it is a path that leaves many shaken.
So i pray that trusting in what "i" cannot understand narrows me down to the extent of what "i" can fathom.

MENTALLY!

Really though, isnt this "i" just getting in the way?
is it not the very thing that is preventing our true realization of what always is and always has been?

A mind is a machine that can only consume so much data until it pops,
but a soul is a stream that flows endlessly through these bodies not to be grasped by something as primitive as a brain,
but to be expressed through something as advanced as the heart...
.
I am not here to develop a person with a story that i feel is worth being told!

I am here to surrender unto life, returning all that has been blessedly bestowed upon me
so that powers beyond my own can experience, through "me" a joy greater than any of us could have predicted possible.
I am not here to be good.
I am not here to be bad.
I am not here to be happy.
I am not here to be sad.
I am not here to be funny.
I am not here to be boring.
I am not here to be anxious.
I am not here to be brave.
I am not here to be loved.
I am not here to be hated.
I am not here to be what you want.
I am not here to be what i want.
I am not here to be something.
I am not here to be nothing.
I am not here to be DYLAN!
............
I am here to be.
..........
Surrender...

:D


Monday, 28 May 2018

Welcome

HOWDY!
Thanks a mil for coming to check out this page i have created! and if you have read some of the content i have placed before you i am even more grateful than i would be if you had just.... 
hold on let me stop underlining
Better?
Sweet :) 
A bit thick though.
Hows That? 
Perfect!

Now your probably thinking "Dylan was that really necessary?"
or if you don't know my name because you somehow missed my name at the top!? 
Then your probably thinking "Was that really necessary?"
Of course not! 
But what is life without the freedom to branch out a little.
Lets not get stuck at the stem people!

So whats going on here Dylan?
Well i'm glad you asked "me" "me".
I am taking advantage of this platform to express my thoughts to the world on my own personal discoveries about how impersonal the world actually is.
I'm joking of course, 
none of them are personal!
Yet i, at times, trick myself into believing in my own vanity. 
As if it were a saving grace when in truth it is really just a chain, binding me to the foot of the mountain i so deeply desire to climb.
To simplify, its a lot of self-inquiry.

But Dylan, don't you already have a bunch of other platforms that need your attention?
such as:
  • Instagram: Dylan-D-Light
  • Youtube: Dylan :D-Light (That uses this link - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0uL-W4xsQdxX75hqbv-sTQ)
  • Podcasts: :D-Light... A Deeper Perspective (Which you can find on)
  1. Anchor
  2. Apple podcasts
  3. Overcast
  4. Pocket casts
  5. Radio public
  6. Castbox
  • And this website which is dylandlight.blogspot.com

No....
oh wait yeah that's true actually!
Once again another reminder that there is nothing to be learned, only reminded of.
(by the way, way to plug the thing your plugging on)

So what can one learn from your blogs?
Erm.. read up a little.

So what can one be reminded of from your blogs?
That is really not up to me, its down to the readers interpretation and relativity blah blah blah.
I don't know why i blah'd? i actually find perspective extremely fascinating!
I guess i just came into the assumption that the reader wouldn't be very interested in...  
*Sigh*
There i go assuming perspectives again.
 How could i know what a reader would want (comments) or interperate from what i write (also comments)
and honestly i'm not here to care! Well maybe care a little. I feel like i "shouldn't" (careful of that word) care but i guess i do.
But i'm definitely not here to please.
I find joy in my expression and discoveries and know full-well that my intentions are based in love.
Beyond that is none of my concern, but i digress.

Okay...Where are you from?
I think were done here.

:D



  

11am !iam

11 am.
I've just arrived home from the gym.
Cold shower, as always.
I'm told it helps improve the immune system.
This i am not certain but Hoffman seems like a nice enough guy.
Still exhausted from my 40ish minutes of exercise. (That's amazing from a non athletic perspective)
Admittedly however, not a continuous 40 minutes.
Blood rapidly pumping through my circulatory system revealing undiscovered pulses in areas i don't care to explain.
It feels somewhat contradictory, overwhelming yet somehow pleasant as a natural and complementary high encompasses my body as i sit down to meditate.
A thought swiftly finds its way in.

 "I may not be developed greatly from a physical stance, but this right here is mine."

?       I detach, quickly going from possessor to observer.

I follow as this thought floats away finding a place to settle beyond peering eyes,
but awareness is to broad a space to escape from.
As it rests it notices my presence and i notice its uncanny resemblance to me.
I become conscious of the fact that this being is an expression of me, but only that, an expression, a thought. Nothing more or less, so i am to not identify and confuse it for who i am.
I can do nothing but observe.
To do anything else would risk becoming a temporal thought, soon to fade and take my new found identity along with it.
I'd rather not mourn over a loss today thank you!

He sit's attempting to go unnoticed. So i look closer. Why would he care?
Occasionally he return's his gaze out the corner of his eye,
a feeling of discomfort pervaded and silence was quickly broken.

"What do you want?"

I remain aware and hushed, reserving all judgments, allowing space for whatever is present to express itself.

"I have nothing to give you, go somewhere else."
........
He attempts to push me away, but i cannot be effect for i am just awareness, i have no form.
........
"Stop looking at me!"
.........
He begins to turn a devilish red filling with frustration and anger.
.......
"Seriously you are wasting your time, there's nothing to this."
........
He walks away only to find that there is nowhere to go, we are in an endless dark space and as-long as my attention is here, he cannot escape.
........
"I'm not hiding anything!"
.......
He begins to grow in height attempting to fill up the infinite space that he is in, and i am merely aware of.
......
"Ahh leave me alone! Stop trying to pry out information from me! Just because i make a comment which you assume is ego based doesn't mean that it's true."
......
He waves his arms around intending to hit something yet, nothing is around he can collide with.
.......
"You have no clue what's going on here! Your just a pretender, silently marking yourself as spiritually adept by sitting on a fricken pillow holding your eyes shut! Earth to Dylan your just a....."
...................
"Wait!"
......
He shrinks back down to his original size.(A normal human height.)
......
"I was the one who claimed to be good at..whatever this is? Why am i fighting myself?"
......
He finds himself in contemplation for a moment, knowing that he has been caught in a lie by no-one other than himself.
......
"*sigh* I am hiding, I mean. I'm not hiding, but i am hiding something."
......
"Behind me lies the feeling of lack, i have been placed here to shadow that from the light of truth,
the light of knowing, the light of awareness.
A long time ago this feeling was created, but you were unaware of the fact that you were the one who created it, and without that knowledge you spent a lot of your energy fighting it and ironically fueling it.
Eventually you could no longer take the pain of the endless conflict, and so, you created me.
A thought, an identity, an ego you know as Dylan.
Something big and obnoxious enough to cloud that which caused you suffering, a suffering that you refused to let anyone see or experience.
Yet the fear of allowing others to see you as vulnerable prevented you from opening up and seeing the truth of what you were doing,
creating more of what you don't want to be, lacking."

...........................................................................................................................

My awareness extended outward into the world around me.
I feel the rising of my stomach as i inflate my lungs, reaching a peak to once again return the air borrowed as i have done a million times before, except this time, a loving appreciation followed the exhale.
I hear the birds chirping to the earth as if singing songs of gratitude.
I feel the breeze enter in through my open doors reviving the space in which my body resides, giving life to what had just gone unnoticed.
I feel legs crossed underneath that same body, stabilizing the torso allowing a place to rest two shoulders.
And like a stem perching out the soil, lies the neck, upon that sits the head, sustaining the brain, bearing the mind, which cradles the chaotically magical and dumbfounding eternal realm of imagination.
A place so boundless in its creative expression that one can actually come to believe that they lack a single thing.

I see the reality which i am dealt, in contrast seeing the hallucination that is thinking.

:D










Saturday, 26 May 2018

Piano's Or Wings

How much time can i waste till an honest gut-wrenching desire imposes itself in the eye of procrastination?
How tiresome it is to insist that an immediate joy be postponed and reserved for a "better you"? 
How is one so aware of what invokes a spark, but then proceeds to dampen the leaves? 
A maddening form self sabotage.
I can do anything! including everything i don't want. Now that's scary!
But i'm comforted by the knowing that "I have potential!"
Potential.
What a word! To possess a possibility of development, to augment what is present to bridge between this and that, here and there, one-thing and something else.Or else!?
Pressure finds a way to either squish or propel, so the question is,
 are you endowed with pianos or wings?   

I love, but i can hate, 
i don't wish to believe it but what i bear i can not, nor will i, attempt to elude. 
This is what i feel, i commemorate the discovery and reassure that its nothing to be ashamed of. 
However it is a consequential reminder of the shame i can feel if i choose to do so, knowingly or not.
Never of others, but of myself.
I hold back my judgments and ask what is so wrong with me to detect that there is anything wrong with me at all. 
Me...
 I am, me?                      "1+1 does not bring you to 1"
 ...I am. 
 I am not me.
Though in the motions of a day or a preempted moment, i surely think i am a me. 
I am...
I know i sense "should" stop there but i sense it slide, gravitating towards a craving for completion, concluding with POWERFUL, WISE, GENEROUS or even FuNnY. 
I try to deny but frankly, i find that to me, it appears deficient. 
I'm convinced this is illusion but one cannot fight their notions, as it does nothing but persist that which i wish to resist.

So accept and it shall evanesce.
So I concede. 
I will no longer deny that this is just one game i cannot win, and failure, although unnerving does not compare to the dread and endless torment that is controverting the self.
Failure, an apprise of diversion, a sign to realign, rethink and strategies.
Humans least wanted, yet their most essential.
And at the culmination of this conflict, i have lost only one thing. 
The inclination to corroborate what i pray i am not.
Because I am.
and when i find that i don't want to be,
i again see that that's exactly why,
I AM...
:D